


When I look at her I see me

by Hnikkar



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:43:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1955520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hnikkar/pseuds/Hnikkar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sarah POV. Set in episode 6 in the tent, and then when Helena was arrested. explores identity and clone twin sister connection stuff. (if title is a misquote v soz i couldnt find it's from s1 somewhere)</p>
            </blockquote>





	When I look at her I see me

Sarah shifted in her sleeping bag and traced with her eyes the outline of Helena’s bushy silhouette. She must’ve wriggled around while Sarah was asleep because they were head to head again.

Sarah felt claustrophobic in that tent, alone with Helena. The thick Ukrainian accent echoed through her head.

_We have a connection._

There was no running away from the fact that Helena not only had killed and maimed people, but had taken pleasure in it, too.

_I feel it too._

Sarah felt the glass of an ash tray break beneath her fingers, and remembered the sick exhilaration as she watched Vic stumble and fall, bloodied, at her hand. She remembered watching Helena pounce and push, with her thumbs, Tomas writhing beneath.

Sarah shuddered. She could push these thoughts away, she knew well how to push these thoughts away. She heard Helena shift next to her. Her twin’s presence was suffocating.

A gunshot. Helena’s body falling slow, then still on the ground.

Her breathing quickened. She shut her eyes and tried to breathe through her nose, steadily. Her heart thumped in her chest. The tent was too quiet and their bodies were much too loud.

“Sarah?”

Sarah looked over to see an identical pair of eyes staring back, bulged slightly, like a fish. Or something.

“Are you having bad dream?”

“Yeah… nah, I’m just thinking about things.”

“Bad things?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I dunno.”

“You shouldn’t think bad thoughts. It is better to get lost in something else.”

Sarah watched quietly as Helena demonstrated, making shadows against a tent wall.

“What are those?”

“They are two dogs. They are friends.”

Sarah wondered if Helena had learnt to do that in a cage. It was a stupid thing to think.

“Really? It looks like that one’s pissing the other one off.”

Helena chuckled.

“No! They are friends. They love each other very much.”

She was trying to comfort her. She was trying to do a good thing.

“Hmm.”

Sarah rolled over and Helena lowered her hands, the dogs disappearing.

Everyone had their mind made up about Helena, except Sarah. Maybe because Sarah didn’t like thinking about it.

“I’m going to sleep.”

“Goodnight sestra.”

“’Night, meathead.”

*

When Sarah saw Helena being pushed into the backseat of a cop car, she was genuinely shocked. She hadn’t thought about what would happen if Helena hadn’t just done what she’d said and stayed in the car. That was because that was not an option. If she’d acknowledged that this could happen, she wouldn’t have been able to go into the church and find out about Swan Man. And she had needed to find out about Swan Man.

She couldn’t intervene. Not when she was on police records. Not when this was her clone.

She stood aside as her twin was arrested and got back into the car. She had to go on. Move forward. She called Art. Art would take care of Helena. Sarah trusted Art. Sarah didn’t need to think about Helena because Art would think about Helena.


End file.
